People I met these past weeks.

I have shared before that I love connecting with people and it’s one of the reasons I blog. I have missed my blogging community these last two weeks due to being called into work full-time, as illness and holidays struck. As a result, I wanted to write this post about the constant stream of relationship which goes on in our worlds, not just within our blogging community, and how through love, acceptance and being present, we can make the world a better place. This week I had a great many conversations with people, some new to me, some not, so the following is some insight into this stream of connection, the revealed ups and downs of relationship:

~A young Greek mother of 2 young children and her older mum. Both had flown up to north Australia for the daughter to perform in a Greek dancing festival, replacing a much younger girl who couldn’t make it. Her mother said “She was like a queen”. She was so proud and clearly this mother daughter bond was alive and well. No wonder this young woman has a real sense of presence and strong sense of self about her, with a mother who thinks so well of her and tells her. During the same conversation, the older mother and I traded our fear of flying stories and high fived each other in encouragement. She shared how she had struggled on the short flight with a deep anxiety. I congratulated her on her achievement, facing fear and making the trip.

~A woman who seems to live in a disappointing relationship, bored by her husband and his older ways. But I wondered about her ‘boredom’ and lack of real connection with people, replaced by absorbtion in her work, a rather poor substitute for real people and real connection. I wondered at what emotion her boredom really covered.

~A young woman embarking on the possibility of a new relationship. Her muted excitement, her sudden joyful hope. I notice her self-care ramping up as she begins again to wear make-up. I notice her brighter smile.

~A nun who is a dear friend of mine and who has been really ill and failed to ask for help or even notify people. She had collapsed at home and lay unable to seek help for 4 hours, before she could drag herself to the phone.This same woman has visited the dying for years, without renumeration, just as an act of love. She has impacted on many lives. I used to work as a volunteer with her so I know the hours she put in and the difference she made. And yet, when she needed help, she wouldn’t ask for it???

~A woman with major back pain, who had to get a cortisone injection to overcome the enormous pain. The day she had the injection, she went home to rest, only to find that next door they were cutting down three trees and so electric saws would be going all day. Really, what are the odds??? 😦  So, though unable to sleep and recuperate, she still struggled into work.

An old woman and her daughter who were shopping together. I could sense a respectful tension about the daughter (probably aged in her fifties) as though she never quite felt good enough around her mother and she certainly evidenced a real lack of self-confidence in my conversation with her. There was a  weariness about her and a resigned tone in the way she spoke with her old mother. It seemed as though there was an underlying competition between them and the daughter had long ago resigned herself to not being good enough to match her mother. And yet, I also sensed a love and respect between them and it reminded me of both the frailty and tenacity present in all our relationships. All relationships which survive, seem to do so because both love and acceptance of the other’s failings or brokenness, has been in place. Relationships which survive allow space for each other’s less fine attributes and still see the full wonder present in the other. I am not talking of abusive relationships here.

~A woman and her husband who are building a new home for their 6 children and are struggling to cope with moving while the old one is pulled down and the new one re-built. The mother is simultaneously grieving her father’s death.

~A man who is dating a woman 10 years older, at the same time claiming he still hopes to marry someone young enough to have kids….he’s 40 and never been married. He still lives at home??The woman is accepting the situation, in hope that he changes, but in full awareness of his agenda. I wonder at why this bright attractive woman is prepared to accept second best?

~A mother whose daughter is getting married in two months

~A young mother who is breast-feeding and struggling with fatigue but loving motherhood.

~A woman who speaks four language but not the language of gentleness and patience as I witnessed her jab someone in the back with her key because the woman was in her way.

~A young man who has hopes about his future and yet struggles with the study.

~A young girl embarking on an overseas trip with her boyfriend, the prediction is that he will probably propose while overseas.

~A woman who is dying due to cancer.

~A man who fears he is losing his memory as he ages.

~A woman who had just attended a funeral.

~A woman who was hurrying to make it to tuckshop (school canteen) where she was doing her duty for the fifth child.

~A couple who have travelled extensively, talking about and sharing their travels. The woman was Italian by birth. Her husband Australian and he loved going home to the country of her birth.

~A lady who was planning a trip to Tasmania and asked me advice based on our recent travels to Tasmania. I was able to share some accommodation information for which she was very grateful.

~A father planning to take his family around Tasmania who had borrowed our trip plans to replicate and use as a guide. He phoned to ask about one section of the trip.

~A mother who left her husband for another man and suffered serious guilt and anxiety over her decision and its effects on her family.

~A young woman who is concerned about her mother who is too easily slipping into relationships with men.

~A narcissist who, no matter the conversation, always took the other person’s discussions into her own world….eg ‘ I’ve just come from a grandmother’s funeral’…..narcissist’s response…’oh, I remember when my mum died’…..eg ‘my mother fell down the steps and broke her foot’ narcissist response ‘oh yes I know how it is when my son broke his leg while riding his bike I was told it was the worst break the surgeon had seen and we spent months ……’  you get the drift. Never is she able to stay present to the other person’s world and I see the look on the face of the person she completely misses.

~A group of woman laughing hysterically about shared embarrassing moments. When one of the women had returned to pick her child up from pre-school after a dress up day where he went as a policeman, the teachers had been mightily amused because when they asked her son where he got his uniform from, he had replied that the policeman hat had been borrowed from his friend, the gun was a toy gift from his friend and the hand cuffs were from his mother’s bedroom. They were in hysterical tears over it but she valiantly tried to explain, that in her bedroom she kept a box of toys, including the plastic handcuffs,  for her young kids, to keep them amused, while she cleaned her room and got dressed. She’s pretty sure those teachers are still laughing.

So, in conclusion, we are all humans trying to make sense of  life’s ups and downs, births, deaths, marriages, new beginnings, closures, endings, changes, wounding, healings…all of it is part of the colour of  life. It seems that, even the sad and painful aspects of life, can be made good if we choose to learn lessons and find new directions and new healthy choices to make. Pain can often provide a glimpse into our own inner world.  Being grateful and accepting of every minute we live, may just be the most peaceful way to live because if we are not arcing against what life offers, we will be both open to learning and be more accepting of each other.

I wish you all the best this week and I promise to try to catch up on those posts of yours I’ve missed. Thank you for reading. Below are some photos from our trip to China, where some 1,351,657,890 people live, also living with struggles and joys and life with all it’s colour.

Chinese woman working in a silk factory

Chinese Buddhists worshipping at their temple in Shanghai

Another view of the Chinese Buddhists during worship. I wondered about what each one was all praying for, what dramas were present in their life or what they were giving thanks for.

About mindfulness4now

Hello and welcome. I am mother, step mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend. My passions are my spirituality, life and people, reading, meditation and mindfulness, writing/journalling. I also love food, coffee, photography, and travel(near,far and off-road). I also have an interest in health(especially mental health). Welcome to my musings on life's journey.
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27 Responses to People I met these past weeks.

  1. Alastair says:

    I hope the woman who had the coritsone injection was alright. The doctor missed with mine which is why I’m in this situation

    An interesting group of people though, all completely different, and yet all with the same thing in common – they spoke to you 🙂

    • She’s been told that she it will take 2 weeks for the injection to heal the pain so, so far, not much in pain reduction…..poor thing. She’s a strong woman though and I hope she’ll come through. What happened to you, if it’s not too personal…did you have an injection which went wrong? If so that is really shocking. kind regards Leanne

      • Alastair says:

        The doctor missed and put the injection through a nerve.

      • Ohh that’s really not good…is thgere long term damage?

      • Alastair says:

        Yes there is. It was 10 years ago and not been able to walk properly since. Just had to learn to live with it

      • Alastair that is terrible. I’m so sorry. It must be a hard thing to live with. We have medical procedures to improve our health, not make us worse. I’m very sorry if it has triggered memories. Thanks for sharing this with me.

      • Alastair says:

        Thank you, but it’s not something that bothers me on a regular basis any more. Yes, there’s stuff that I would like to do – like jogging, playing football, jumping around with the kids etc., but it’s been so long now – For a few years before the injection I couldn’t – so I’m used to it now. I just have some days that are worse than others 😉

      • Hi Alastair, heard another shocking story about epidurals. A young mother was mistakenly injected with alcohol instead of the water element into her spine for a caesarian birth. The outcome has been horrific as she became immediately paralysed from the waist down (paraplegic) and is now a quadraplegic as the alcohol has travelled further through the system. She is becoming more vegetative as it continues to destroy her. The husband has had to give up work to care for the young baby who was born and to nurse his wife. She will evetually die from complications and that baby will never know it’s mother, nor the mother the child. They now live across the road from the hospital as the hospital has had to take full responsibility for the mistake and ongoing care. An absolute tragedy.

      • Alastair says:

        OMG!!! Poor woman, the poor bloke. Watching his .. partner .. die like that. Slowly and painfully. I know it doesn’t help, but I hope the hospital has compensated them enough that they can make her life more comfortable before she goes.

      • I know, isn’t it just shocking. NO excuse for such rampant negligence. The hospital is taking total care of her around the clock (they moved into a new home right next to the hospital) but still it is a tragedy beyond belief. Leanne

  2. your diatribe about the narc reminds me to be more thoughtful about what other people are feeling and not to bring everything back to me

  3. Dear Lady,
    So nice to see you again!!!
    I enjoyed this piece very much. It seems what you are describing, is this wonderful place called Life….that I believe we all chose to come to…for its contrasts and experiences.
    Looks like a fabulous trip!!!
    Love, Lis
    xoox

    • Hello my friend. I’m sorry I have fallen a bit behind as we have had lots on, including some renovation/painting, and I’ve been called to temporary full-time work. Thanks so much for reading and commenting and yes, it’s just wonderful everyday life. We all have it passing by our doorstep. See you soon and I’ll be looking forward to a catch up on your posts. Love Leanne

  4. mobius faith says:

    All interesting people

  5. Clanmother says:

    Great post! Everyone has a story. Some are more fulfilling because they have embraced who they are and learned to cherish those around them.

  6. What an amazing kaleidoscope of people, with so many situations and choices..and you are so right, its the acceptance and receiving of life instead of resistance that makes the difference., and so often leads on to the next phase…

  7. Beautiful character sketches – deepened by your honest, and un-judgemental eye.

  8. brusselsislove says:

    what a nice idea, to sum up all the folk that cross your path. Good work!

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